..:: Where I Want To Be ::..

I guess that I always knew
that I'd find you when I thought
I reached my point, I let them down.
I slept in the worst part of this town.

You are my song, and you are where I want to be.
~The Dangerous Summer

(The acoustic version is way better.)

So, Tuesday night I decided to fast.

Wednesday I had nothing up until six when

my mom practically force-fed me two slices of pizza.

Thursday I had absolutely nothing.

Friday I woke up and had the shakes again,

but after school I spent the day with a pretty great guy..

(I'll come back to that in a bit.)

So I didn't eat anything Friday either.

Today, it's about one pm, and I don't think I'll be eating today either.

I feel pretty good about that.

Now, back to the guy (let's call him T).

I have a date today, but not with him.

One of his friends (R) likes me, and

T told him to ask me out, which he did.

That was on Thursday.

Then T came over yesterday and we spent all day together,

because we're pretty good friends as it is,

but I think I feel something more than that for him.

It was cold, so he gave me his sweatshirt.

When we were sitting I noticed he would always

have our legs touching,

or he would lean into me ever so slightly.

He's a gentlemen. He's totally considerate.

I had a headache (from not eating)

and he was really cool about it.

And so many other things that gave me butterflies.

He's a really good friend

and I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

He's kind of everything I want in a guy.

But here I am, getting ready for a date with R.

I'm not saying R isn't a nice guy,

because he really is.

I know it's horrible,

but I kind of wish the date will go badly.

You're all probably thinking the easy thing to do would be

to just call off the date, right?

I would, but I didn't realize my feelings for T until yesterday,

and I've also been friends with R for a while,

and everyone knows thinks there's something between us,

so I wouldn't do that to him.

Not to mention, T and R are pretty good friends too.

And I'm not sure this light-headed feeling is helping my thoughts.

As for the date, we're going to the movies.

I'll probably just have a diet coke.

And we're seeing that new scary movie Insidious.

Movie date bait. I know.

Also, my best friend that moved away a while back

is coming to visit in a little over two weeks.

She knew I had some problems with my eating,

and I know this is horrible,

but I feel like I kind of have to prove it to her.

Like, if she sees me how I am now,

I'll be a complete joke to her.

Anyways, that's about all for my lame drama, haha.

Oh, and thank you Skylar for re-nominating me. :]

Thank you all for being so supportive!

It means the world to me.

And 8 new followers since that last post?

That's awesome! I'll be checking out all your blogs :]

Good Luck, and Stay Strong.

We can do this.