..:: Breathe Again ::..

And when she's tired she doesn't sleep,
A week since I've seen her eat,
She's skin and bones, she's beautiful no matter what.
I wish I could help her see, she means the world to me,
But the world, it doesn't mean much to her.

~Jimmy Robbins

I just got ungrounded today.

I've been having major sleeping problems,

resulting in a lot of tardies at school.

This caused me to get a detention... or two,

and my mother wasn't having that.

Her solution? Grounded from the computer and tv.

Haven't been sleeping any better anyways.

So much has happened though.

The date with R

It started off alright, we were at the movies so there wasn't much

talking time. He put his arm around me.

Went to the mall after,

he started talking and I realized I couldn't do this.

He wasn't the guy for me.

Besides, I was falling for T.

So a day or two after the date I call up R,

tell him I don't want to ruin our friendship by dating,

and he took it well.

T came over the next Friday (Friday's are apparently "our thing" now),

and we ended up kissing (quite a bit) and admitting our feelings.

He told me he's liked me for a while now.

Anyways, I'm now T's girlfriend.

And I'm happy.

I'm actually happy with T.

He makes me feel good.

He makes me forget about all my flaws when I'm with him.

I actually look forward to getting out of bed in the morning.

Of course, because of my sleeping problems,

I've been going to bed at about 1 AM,

waking up at 4 AM, and can't get back to sleep untill about

7 AM when I'm supposed to be getting ready for school.

I've tried everything.

I work out until I'm physically exhausted.

I read until my eyes burn.

I get all my homework done, make sure my room is clean.

But I still can't sleep for whatever reason.

At least my grades might improve.

As for eating, Easter was pretty bad.

Candy and a big dinner.

Just thinking about all of it makes me nauseous.

I haven't been counting calories like I said I would,

I've just been fasting until I'm forced to eat in front of someone.

And when I do, I make sure it's something small.

It's not a perfect plan, but for now, I'm managing.

I have bags under my eyes, and a growling stomache.

But I'm okay.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Stay strong, lovelies.